Thus far today I have managed to experience the vast majority of my emotions for one reason or another.  It's 11:30am.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning in desperate need of some water only to find that, even after quenching my thirst, I could not go back to sleep.  I watched the sun rise through my eyelids as I tried to grab at least a few more minutes of peaceful slumber.  Alas, I rolled out of bed to officially start my day at 6:45am after uncomfortably tossing and turning for over an hour. 

I missed delicious homemade coffee due to my complete lack of preparation for my big first day back to school and then missed stopping in town at Starbucks because the timing of the bus was wonky (I had forgotten that they don't get anything right for at least the first week and a half of the semester).  So I settled for disgusting (though mildly tolerble) coffee from the libray, the aftertaste which I simply cannot seem to get out of my mouth. 

Beyond that, I've been awkwardly ignored by my boss and yelled at by the University's catering representative.  The latter made me cry, though I think that's because I'm currently a bit overwhelmed.  And apparently an emotional basketcase.

So the goal for the rest of the day is to smile and laugh at everything, get something deliciously wonderful for lunch, be optimistic about class, and go home (where I will drink, smoke a cigar, and maybe cry into my pillow a bit.  Just not all at once.).

Sometimes I feel like my extremeties aren't even a part of me.  Like my arms keep doing things that my head isn't telling them to do.  Picking up a glass of wine I don't need...or patting someone on the shoulder...or something. 

And, at the same time, sometimes I wish my arms had more of a mind of their own.  Like they would act out everything I'm afraid to say or do.  Because involuntary motion is a lot easier to explain away than voluntary.  Right?

That would have made many things in my life a lot easier than they are now. 

My grandmother died on Tuesday.  Things have been crazy and hectic ever since.  I'm in Houston until Monday...the funeral is on Saturday.

If you're the praying type, then please keep my family in your prayers.  If not, then just be sure to hug the people that you love.

More in the aftermath...but later.